so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
