I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
