ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
