i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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