So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
