Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize