last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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