How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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