There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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