It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
