Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
