You're so nebulous sometimes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
