Where did you get a picture of my penis
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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