Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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