On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ketchup is God's man juice
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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