OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
