I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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