i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
