And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Randomize
