Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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