making cat noises will not fix the situation.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
