So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
