i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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