think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
