i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
