Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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