You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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