There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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