They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
