Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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