oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
