Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
