doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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