For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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