so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
