I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
