i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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