Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
