Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
