I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
