Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
