Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
