I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
