Is it normal to miss your booty call?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
