Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
