the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
