I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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