I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
