How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
