I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
