glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
